A Secret Love Untold
by Sweet Jorja
Summary: CH. 3&4 Added. Please read author notes! Sara has a secret that is tearing her up inside. Can she tell all before it does more damage? - NSR eventually.
1. Running Away from Your Feelings

A/N: Hey y'all! I know I need to stop making new stories and finish my new ones, but this is something I need to write. I'm in the cafeteria of my high school and something or better yet 'someone' made me write this. This is sad but true. Anywhoo, I hope y'all like it! Enjoy!

Disclaimers: I don't own the characters, just the story line. That's my life.

-

Sara looked over the top of her laptop and through the glass wall and watched as Nick passed by. She looked hoping he would pass a glance her way.

She wondered if he was okay. Usually they would talk after shift and they were very open with each other, but lately they hadn't even talked at all. She thought it might have been because of the shift changes, but he would be in the same room and he would not even pass her a glance. They pass in the corridor, and he just looked away or maybe if she was lucky he passed her an occasional glance. It was almost as if he didn't care about her anymore.

She wanted to tell him how she felt more than anything. She tried to think of ways to do it where she wouldn't have to be face to face with him. Or he would have to figure out that it was her on his own. Then she thought of just going up to him and telling him. But every time she tried, she would just say something else.

"Sara? Hey Sara! Yoo hoo! Is anyone home?" Catherine asked waving a hand in front of her friend's face.

"Oh, hey Catherine. What's up?"

"Wow, you were a million miles away on that one. Where were you?" She asked smiling.

"I uh- It was nothing."

"Yeah right Sidle. With you, it is never nothing. Spill it."

"Well, I have this friend who works with this guy and they are good friends and all, but lately he hasn't been talking to her. She asked me for help and I was just trying to figure out how to help her."

"Who's the guy Sara? It's not Grissom is it? I thought you gave up on that."

"What? No...see I said it was my friend. It's not me." Sara said looking out through the glass wall again as Nick walked by again.

"Oh my God! It is you!" Catherine said smiling. "And the guy is Nick isn't it?"

"No! It's- Oh screw it. Yes it's Nick." Sara said looking down in defeat. "Catherine I swear to God if you tell anyone!"

"Don't worry Sara. Your secret is safe with me."

"You know, I was taught that it is rude to keep secrets." Sara's head shot up as Nick walked in. He smiled at her and it took all she had not to melt off of her seat.

"Hey Nicky. Did you get those results yet?" Catherine asked looking at Sara.

"Uh, no. I was on my way there now."

"Well, get on it. He have to nail this guy before he skips town."

"Sure." He said leaving them alone.

"Thanks Cath."

"No problem. You just find a way to fix this soon."

"Okay. Thanks Catherine. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Anytime Sara."

"Hey, if you see Grissom, could you please tell him that I finished my case and clocked out early?"

"Sure. Will do."

"Thanks." Sara said walking out and almost running to the locker room to gather her things. She had to get away from him and away from her own hidden truth.

-

A/N: So? Is my sappy life story turned fanfic good or should I stop now while I'm behind? IDK. I just had to write this as soon as I saw my own 'Nick' come in and pass me by again. Anywhoo, enough of that. I'll write more if y'all want it. Let me know okay? Plz R&R!

Sweet Jorja


	2. Shelter of Home

A/N: Hey Y'all! Back for more I see? Anywhoo, here is some more of my sad but true story, converted for your CSI enjoyment. LOL. Anywhoo... Enjoy! Plz R&R!

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(After shift...Sara's Apartment)

Sara walked inside and suddenly felt lonely when she saw that she had no messages. That means he didn't call to talk to her.In fact no one did. She turned on her computer and logged on to her Instant Messanger to see if he was online. She pulled up her buddy list and looked it over.

CrimeStopperStokes03 is online- time spent online, 4 minutes.

'Oh good! Maybe now I can talk to him.' She thought as a smile can to her facce. She typed as fast as she could to send him a message.

Vegan-Sidle:hey nick!

CrimeStopperStokes03 is away:

Vegan-Sidle:hey where did you go?

CrimeStopperStokes03 signed off:

Her heart sank. She missed him again. Or was he just ignoring her? As much as she wanted to believe that he felt the same way, she knew it would never happen. Suddenly she felt a rush of panick.

'Oh my God! What if he figured it out? What if he overheard me and Catherine? What if I scared him away? Oh God!' She thought to herself as she logged off and shut down her computer. She went to bed and got very little of her much deserved much needed sleep.

Sara woke up after about an hour of actual sleep to the sound of her phone ringing.

"Sidle." She said answering groggily.

"Well hello there sleeping beauty."

"Nick, hey. What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind giving me a ride to work today. Catherine told me you were coming in early. My truck is in the shop. I can catch aride with Warrick if you can't."

"Oh no. It's on my way. It's no problem." Sara said cursing to herself. _'Way to go Catherine tell him all of my plans!'_ She thought rolling her eyes.

"Good thanks. I'll see you later."

"Okay...hey Nick?"

"Yeah." Nick said as he heard silence. "You there?"

"Uh yeah. Never mind."

"Ookay. Are you sure you're alright? You haven't been yourself lately."

"I- No, I'm fine. I promise. I'll uh see you later."

"Okay, bye." Nick said hanging up.

'Oh yeah, way to go Sidle. You almost blew it!' She thought to herself as she fell back down onto her bed. "Lord give me strength." She said simply as she got up to finish getting ready for work knowing it would be torture to have to sit next to him on the way to and from work.

-

A/N: okay so this is a little short. But what the heck. It's hard enough to write this let alone with 'him' sitting at the table next to me. Well, at least I know y'all don't know who I am. Or else I wouldn't be writing this at all! LOL For...obvious reasons. I know, I need to get over myself and talk to him. But come on, I'm a cowardly, low self esteemed, CSI obsessed freak. Gimme a break! I hope you liked it anyway. Plz R&R!

Sweet Jorja


	3. Making Plans and Breaking Hearts

A/N: Okay y'all. I'm having new thoughts on this one and they aren't actually good for Sara. Well it starts out good. If you don't like it let me know and I'll pull it or edit it, depending on the mood I'm in. Enjoy!

* * *

Sara waited outside Nick's house before shift. She honked the horn and he quickly came out. She took a deep breath in, and hoped she would be given the strength to make it to the lab with out melting. Nick threw his duffle bag in the back of the truck and climbed in next to her. He flashed her one of his huge grins, and she almost melted before they had even pulled out._ This is going to be a long ride_ Sara thought to herself as she shifted into reverse.

"So Sara, you and I have the same vacation next week. Any big plans?" Nick asked breaking the akward silence.

"Well, I think a friend of mine from college is coming to visit. I have told her a lot about you, she can't wait to meet everyone." Sara said glancing at him for a second. "What about you? Do you have anything planned?"

"No. I think I'll be able to hang out with you a bit. We haven't actually hung out together in a long time."

"I know." Sara said smiling.

"So how about it? Wanna set a day for us to hang out? Just the two of us?"

"Yeah. I can't wait." Sara said in a better mood. Things were beginning to be like they used to be. But there was one problem, this time around she had stronger feelings for Nick, no big deal right?

"Good." Nick said simply as they pulled into the lab parking lot.

The two walked into the lab and into the locker room. They gathered their things in silence and finally went their separate ways. Nick, of to his crime scene, and Sara to the break room to put her lunch in the fridge. She jumped and hit her head on the top of the refrigerator as Catherine walked in and called to her.

"Hey!" Catherine covered her mouth to stiffle a laugh as Sara hit her head. Sara pulled her head out of the fridge and glared at Catherine. "So, how was your ride into work?" Catherine said with a devilish grin.

"It was great actually. Nick and I talked a little bit. And no, I'm not mad at you for setting me up." Sara said smiling.

"Well, I couldn't have set it up better myself, but that wasn't my intent. Did you tall Nick how you feel about him?"

"Well, I didn't exactly want to tell him. But we made plans for just the two of us while we are on vacation."

"Oh right, you have the same vacation week. Well, then I suggest you tell him then."

"I don't know Catherine. I mean, we haven't talked in so long, I just want to be able to catch up, not scare him."

"I guess you have a point. Well, it's your life Sara. Do with it what you want."

"Well, now that i have your permission. Thanks Catherine."

"No problem." She said smiling as Warrick came in.

"Hello ladies. Uh Catherine, Nick says he needs us at the scene. He says there is a lot of evidence and he needs help collecting it."

"Sure. See you later Sara."

"Bye guys. Have fun!" She called at them. She just sat on the couch and stared into space. She began to think of what she and Nick could do together the next week. She was yanked out of her thoughts by Greg. She was so out of it, he practically had to sit on her to get her to come back to reality.

"Sara? Hello...Sara?" Greg waved a hand in her face. "Wow, it finally happened. She has finally cracked. I knew she shouldn't have been given extra over time." Greg said takingher hand, picking it up and dropping it. He watched it hit the arm of the couch, and Sara never moved. He took the cup of coffee out of her hand, to avoid her spilling it on him, and he sat on her lap. Finally she snapped out of her trance.

"Greg? What are you _doing_? Get off me!" She said pushing Greg onto the floor.

"I thought that might work. You were so far out, I don't think an astronaut with all the distance in the world could find you. Drastic times call for drastic measures."

"Okay, and you sat on me because?"

"Sara, you weren't moving. I had no choice."

"Okay Greggo, I think _you're_ the one who snapped. I'll see you later." Sara said walking out, heading to the evidence locker.

(One week later...vacation)

Sara looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing her red bathing suit with yellow and orange Hawian style flowers on it. The week before at work, Sara and Nick made plans to hang out at lake Mead for the afternoon. They hadn't really spoken since. Sara checked the clock, 11:45, she had to pick up Nick so they would be at the lake by noon. She called his house, but got no answer. His answering machine picked up, and Sara waited impatiently.

_Hey you've reached Nick Stokes. I'm on vacation and I'll be out of the state for the whole week. Leave me a message and I'll return your call when I get home._

Sara's mouth hung open and she felt as though her heart had stopped as the machine beeped signaling for her to leave a message. She hung up before she said something she would regret. She couldn't believe that he left town when he had made plans with her. Not just this day, but a few days after that to meet Sara's friend. She went into her bedroom and changed into her Harvard t-shirt and sweat pants. She decided since she had nothing else to do, she would try unsucessfully to sleep.

* * *

A/N: So? There is another chappy coming up right after this one. I think I'm on a role on this one. Plz r&r!

Sweet Jorja


	4. Staying Strong

A/N: Hey y'all! Here is more! Short-n-Sweet.If anyone is confused...forgive me. I need to get stuff out of my head and this is how I do it. Pretty dumb huh? Anywhoo, Enjoy!

* * *

(One week later...after vacation)

Sara got dressed and went to work. She had a new attitude. The person who noticed it the most was Catherine.

"Wow, you look...different. What happened with Nick?" She said smiling.

"Nothing. I just realized that I have been such an idiot for a long time and it is time for a change."

"Where is this coming from? Last week you were head over heels, excited that you were going to get to spend time with him. What happened?"

"Just as I said. Nothing. Nick left the state for the week. We didn't do anything together." Sara said sitting at the table across from Catherine and sipping her coffee.

"He what? Well, I'm sure he didn't mean to Sara. He probably had an emergency, or maybe he forgot."

"Well, then I must be right." Sara said recieveing a blank look from Catherine. "If he had an emergency, don't you think he would have called me to tell me?" Sara asked as Catherine nodded. "And if he forgot, then he must not have cared that much in the first place."

"Come on Sara. You know he cares about you."

"I came tothe conclusion that he must not have cared as much as I thought he did." Sara said as Grissom walked in.

"Hey Sara. I need you to head out to a crime scene. I'm swamped."

"Sure. See you guys later." Sara said walking out.

Sara walked sown the corridors, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. She turned a corner and saw Nick coming toward her. He gave her a small grin like he he alwasy did when they crossed paths. Sara however, just passed him. She glanced at him briefly, but quickly looked away when he looked in her eyes. Usually she would smile back, but now she was too upset with him. As she glanced at him, she slightly glared at him. She wondered if he even cared enough to ask her what was wrong. Maybe he would remember what he missed. All Sara new was that she wanted to make herself obvious, but only to Nick. She went to her crme scene, thinking of what she could do. She had to figure it out and she knew that she probably wouldn't be able to rest until she figured it out.

* * *

A/N: So? What do you think? Truthfully, I don't know what to write next. I haven't gotten to that point yet. Anywhoo, I hink I know what I might do, as long as I don't lose the idea. Anywhoo, I hope y'all liked it! Plz r&r!

Sweet Jorja


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